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Thread: Share your discipline methods

  1. #1
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    Thumbs up Share your discipline methods

    As a parent of a 15, 3 and 7 week old please share with me your methods for taming the little demons in your house
    The 3 year old seems to think he is above the law around here and I would love to hear some fresh ideas.
    anyone?
    "The man who alters his way of thinking to suit others is a fool."
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  2. #2
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    Japanese water torture. ;-)
    Truth gains more even by the errors of one who, with due study and preparation, thinks for himself, than by the true opinions of those who only hold them because they do not suffer themselves to think.
    -John Stuart Mill

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anastasia
    As a parent of a 15, 3 and 7 week old please share with me your methods for taming the little demons in your house
    The 3 year old seems to think he is above the law around here and I would love to hear some fresh ideas.
    anyone?
    You mean before Daddy breaks something.
    "They asked if I had found Jesus and I didn't even know He was missing."

  4. #4
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    I recommend fire, and lots of it.
    There was a demon that lived in the air. They said whoever challenged him would die. Their controls would freeze up, their planes would buffet wildly, and they would disintegrate. The demon lived at Mach 1 on the meter, seven hundred and fifty miles an hour, where the air could no longer move out of the way. He lived behind a barrier through which they said no man could ever pass. They called it the sound barrier.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anastasia
    As a parent of a 15, 3 and 7 week old please share with me your methods for taming the little demons in your house
    The 3 year old seems to think he is above the law around here and I would love to hear some fresh ideas.
    anyone?
    I think it kind of depends on the kid and the diciplinarian. Some kids are kind of rough and require harsher diciplinary practices than others. The 3 yr old probably does not think that he is above the law, he thinks he IS the law. We should get him together with my daughter. She is 3 and thinks she is the queen around here.

    I think the most important thing is to be consistent. I have often said that I think that raising a dog and raising a child are not THAT different. Reward them when they are good, punish them when they are bad, and BE CONSISTENT.

    My wife has trouble with the last part, and cannot get our daughter to behave well. Kids will always see how far they can go and how much they can push before they get punished. My wife threatens punishents and gives 3 or 4 or 10 chances before she ever actually hand out any punishment. I, on the other hand, say "no" or "pick up your toys" or whatever and if she does not do it, she gets punished. Punishment can range from a stern word, with a scowl and a pointed finger, which is often enough (if the word is toto stern or the scowl too deep she cries) to a swat on the butt to a time out.

    Personally, I have found time out to be very effective. Sometimes a spanking is needed, sometimes a spanking AND a time out.

    Time out can be a WONDERFUL thing in the afternoon. A lot of times she is tired in the afternoon and becomes an absolute little brat and refuses to lay down and take a nap. I just wait. It usually does not take long before she does something bratty, snotty, or wrong, ends up in time out, and ends up asleep in the time out chair.
    If ye love wealth greater than liberty, the tranquility of servitude greater than the animating contest for freedom, go home from us in peace. We seek not your counsel, nor your arms. Crouch down and lick the hand that feeds you; May your chains set lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that ye were our countrymen. —Samuel Adams

  6. #6
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    The basic problem materializing is that I already have to spank harder than I would wish just to get his attention, tough little monkey that he is.
    "They asked if I had found Jesus and I didn't even know He was missing."

  7. #7
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    The basic problem materializing is that I already have to spank harder than I would wish just to get his attention, tough little monkey that he is.
    then you are not doing it right. i dont remember how old your kids are, but i can get my kids upset before the first swat lands. just make spanking a process when it is a situation when it dose not have to be right now.
    it is not about how hard you spank, it is about the mental impact. if you ask myt littlest what happens if he plays with my guns, he will (and has) answer "i wont be sitting for weeks"

    mostly it is just as easy as daewoo said, tell them they are doing something wrong, then act on it, every time. never warn more than once.

    naouther thing to do it when they are old enough get them involved in group activities that you can step back and watch. you will quickly remember that it is not just your kid that dose that.
    I ONLY APPOLIGE FOR MY SPELLING!

    federal code defining the militia, look it up for your self.
    Title 10, Subtitle A, Part I, chapter 13, Sec. 311.

    “To announce that there must be no criticism of the president, or that we are to stand by the president, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public.” — Theodore Roosevelt.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by emclean
    ...just make spanking a process when it is a situation when it dose not have to be right now.
    Could you please rephrase this sage advice in English?And thanks, I think.
    "They asked if I had found Jesus and I didn't even know He was missing."

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anastasia
    As a parent of a 15, 3 and 7 week old please share with me your methods for taming the little demons in your house
    The 3 year old seems to think he is above the law around here and I would love to hear some fresh ideas.
    anyone?
    hehe....
    There are too many stupid people in the world and no one to eat them!
    -Carlos Mencia

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by sinjin
    The basic problem materializing is that I already have to spank harder than I would wish just to get his attention, tough little monkey that he is.
    I seldom have to do more than pat my daughter on the butt by way of a spanking and she goes ito crying hysterics. I have anephew, on the other hand, who will look at you and laugh after you spank him. The last time I spanked him, my hand hurt when I was done and he was NOT laughing.

    No parent likes to have to spank their kid at all. The first time I spanked my daughter I about cried. But, you have to gte your point across, and if that requires spanking harder, then so be it. He is probably a little young to require "assistance" (my moms favorite assistant was a hair brush...OW).

    If you spank him and it does not have any effect, he has not learned anything. BHAck to dogs as a simile (because it is really not that difference). Every behavior problem I have seen "in a dog" is usually the result of a behavior problem in the owner. Either the owner is not consistent or fails to communicate displeasure effectively.

    My wife has a friend with a staffordshire terrier. Staffies are tough dogs (one of the pitt bull breeds). The dog was 2 years old and a holy terror. It woudl not come, sit, stay, heel, anythign. She would put it on a leash and it woudl drag her all over the place. She had a choke chain on it and would wander around giving it little neck strengthening jerks.

    I offered to work with the dog for a few days becuase I am generally pretty good with animals. The first thing I did when the dog got there was clipped a 25ft training lead to it. The dog took off running. I took off running the other direction. The dog hit the end of that leash and went XXX over teakettle. I ran about another 10 ft, dragging the dog on its back, until it could regain its footing. The woman was SHOCKED.

    The thing is, you HAVE TO GET THE DOGS ATTENTION. Obviosuly little jerks were not helping, they were just teaching the dog to ignore the leash. Once the dog learned to respect the leash, and the person holding it, she was a quick study. At the end of 3 days she could sit, stay, hell, lay down, and would ALWAYS come when you called. By now the owner has porobably managed to ruin the dog again, but at least she knows it is NOT the dog that is at fault.

    Same thing with kids. If you are not communicating the level of your displesure with your spankings, and at a pain level that gets your kids attention, you are just teaching him to ignore dicipline. This could be a MAJOR PITA later.

    Final note---I am NOT advocating strangulation as a form of dicipline for children.
    If ye love wealth greater than liberty, the tranquility of servitude greater than the animating contest for freedom, go home from us in peace. We seek not your counsel, nor your arms. Crouch down and lick the hand that feeds you; May your chains set lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that ye were our countrymen. —Samuel Adams

  11. #11
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    My spanking method (rarely used) is to send the child to the other room (where the 'execution' is to take place) and allow them to stew in their juices for a bit.
    Then come in and give them a lecture on what they did and why it's wrong. This can take anywhere from 5 mins to about an hour if I'm feeling long winded.
    Then, if I still feel a spanking in needed, 1-2 swats per age of child.

    Some children, for what ever reason, are immune to pain and so this isn't always an idea form of punishment.

    I have used the standing in corners and groundings as well as fines for transgressions and damages in the past.

    I've read through a book on how to deal with a strong willed child. I'm currently raising my 9 year old alone and he's very problematic. I find picking the battles you fight and need to win is often workable. Let them win some from time to time.
    For example, tonight was last day of school and awards ceremony. So, he wanted to wear 'cool clothing' and not decent clothing.
    I had him wear a dress oxford shirt but let him wear a good pair of jeans in a compromise. He pushed on a sweat shirt over top and when we got to the school, I made him take the sweat shirt off for a bit until after his part was over. He fit in well, neither over nor under-dressed. Today also, was a field trip. There are about 15 kids in his class and most are boys. So, during the quiet parts, I, the other parents and teachers hung back and let the boys go wild as they hurled themselves down a hill getting grass stains all over their clothing. While it troubled me, it was 'boys being boys' and I could afford to bite my tongue.

    This is in contrast to my 3 older children, aged 17, 15 and 13. Who were raised the same way but, due to one of the most nasty divorces you'll ever see, are undergoing brainwashing and parental alienation. I'm hoping that by following the judicial process in a couple of months the judge will see as everyone else has and force them into counseling and help to get them away from the wifes cult.
    So far, only the wife thinks that what she's doing is proper. Everyone else just hangs their head and sighs. But, it should be telling that the father is the one with court ordered custody of the youngest son while the wife doesn't have a court order on the oldest and is merely using circumstance to prevent me from seeing them.
    The youngest son (9)is in counseling (where the wife was seeking to get dirt on me) and in recent visits of me going there the counselor said the son is extremely well adjusted and operating normally and that my raising of him was good. He's not being programed to hate his mother and reprisals aren't being sought for him visiting her.


    I will chime in with consistancy in your approach and adaptability to changing problems.
    My oldest children NEVER gave me one problem in the 12 years I raised them and it wasn't until their mother started actively encouraging them to do so with bribes and threats of reprisals in the past several months that any problems occured.
    I've needed to spank my 13, 15 year old daughters about 5 times or so in their entire lives and most spankings stop by age 10 to 12 or so and are replaced by other forms of discipline.
    My eldest son had mostly groundings and fines in the past few years. Now, his mother lets him run free. With such a long rope, he may hang soon. Being 'engaged to marry in a year' is one such pitfall of her ridiculous antics he faces. But, I'm sure it's true love as he'd like to believe.


    One effective form of punishment for the oldest son was a few years ago, he was tormenting his sister (the oldest daugter) and I asked him to apologize. He was being flip and so I told him to do so on his knees. He grimaced and chuckled at this but complied. I had him remain on his knees, upright for about 20 mins. After a couple, he could feel the discomfort in his knees and realized that this wasn't some silly and easy discipline. He was humbled and I thought it an effective punishment.
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  12. #12
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    the outher thing to remember is you need to get them whee it hurts (not talking baout spanking here), if i ground my older son to his room he would be happy to go in there and close the door and read till dinner. he likes time to him self, so i will assinne work for him to do. he edged the walk a couple of weeks back. if he dose some thing "big" i will have him take the books out of his room, he would rather re-read his books than to go out and play. the younger son this would not work, he wouldn't care about the books.

    I offered to work with the dog for a few days becuase I am generally pretty good with animals. The first thing I did when the dog got there was clipped a 25ft training lead to it. The dog took off running. I took off running the other direction. The dog hit the end of that leash and went XXX over teakettle. I ran about another 10 ft, dragging the dog on its back, until it could regain its footing. The woman was SHOCKED.
    my brother-in-law has a pit bull, first time she niped at me i put her down on her back with my hand at her throt, every one was mad that i had done that to a puppy, but i have not had any problems with the dog in the last 3 years. she knows who is boss.
    I ONLY APPOLIGE FOR MY SPELLING!

    federal code defining the militia, look it up for your self.
    Title 10, Subtitle A, Part I, chapter 13, Sec. 311.

    “To announce that there must be no criticism of the president, or that we are to stand by the president, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public.” — Theodore Roosevelt.

  13. #13
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    I don't necessarily recommend it in the home but I can relate one form of punishment that worked with me at school.
    The school made the mistake of putting several of us smart-XXX boys in the same math class and the teacher quit after a week (We considered that a victory). They brought in a retired teacher to take over the class. On that first day, without a word being spoken, we knew who was in charge of the class .... and it was not us. The first time I acted up, I was sent to the principals office. He took me into the auditorium, bent me over the back row, and gave me one swat with a board. I considered just one swat to be an insult to my punkhood, but the principal told me that every time I was sent to him the number would double (her plan). On the day he hit me sixteen times, I thought I was going to die and the thought of thirty-two swats echoing in that auditorium made me a much better student ( I certainly understood geometric progression).
    Dono
    That we are to stand by the president, right or wrong is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public.
    – Theodore Roosevelt

  14. #14
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    these days that would get most of the school admin fired, and the kid's famley a lot of money.
    I ONLY APPOLIGE FOR MY SPELLING!

    federal code defining the militia, look it up for your self.
    Title 10, Subtitle A, Part I, chapter 13, Sec. 311.

    “To announce that there must be no criticism of the president, or that we are to stand by the president, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public.” — Theodore Roosevelt.

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anastasia View Post
    As a parent of a 15, 3 and 7 week old please share with me your methods for taming the little demons in your house
    The 3 year old seems to think he is above the law around here and I would love to hear some fresh ideas.
    anyone?
    What were the laws?


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