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Thread: Does it even matter if you're Gay?

  1. #1
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    Does it even matter if you're Gay?

    Wow it's been quite some time since I strolled back here. Life's been busy so I probably won't be as active as I used to. I decided to write this topic to discuss something that's been rattling around in my head since it is Pride weekend here in San Fran yet I'm working (as usual).

    Does it really matter if you identify yourself as Gay? Or I guess what I'm asking is does your sexuality polarize so much of yourself it defines most of who you are? Part of this is because back when I first came out it was kind of like self discovery. Being honest with myself and dealing with the growing pains (religious upbringing, conservative family) was difficult and challenging.

    Now looking back on the last 3 years of my life it all seems so surreal. Being "gay" isn't really what defines me anymore so as much as I'm in a committed relationship with someone of the same sex. That to me has more meaning than just say a particular label or definition.

    Take for example a coworker of mine. He's known as the "queen" around work, is crass doesn't get along with other employee's too well and is pretty much the stereotype when it comes to negative descriptions of gay people. Yet when I speak with him or observe his behavior it seems like he's so hung up on "what" defines him instead of other elements of his personality.

    It would be the same thing as if a straight person constantly pointed out they like women. That's great and all but does it really "define" you as a person? Does my sexual attraction to the same sex "really" define who I am as a person? Actually no.

    It's rather interesting how peoples opinions of me from my family to my coworkers have shifted over the recent months. People know I'm Gay but they also know it doesn't consume me either. They know I have a Partner but they also know about my work ethic, my interests, personality etc. In fact I talk so little about my orientation it's surprising.

    I only had one incident in Stockton where I was harassed by the crew. Being told about Sodom and Leviticus (same old story) and I quickly stopped them saying they hardly knew "me" I tried to point out that being Gay was a very small makeup of my personality and life. Instead I was more upset they were distracting me from my job more than anything!

    Even speaking on the phone to my dad of all people. He gets along fine with my Partner. My parents have both met him several times and are even helping him move up to San Fran with me in the coming weeks. Of all people "my" parents. I guess they see how little it matters what with my job and my time being consumed by so many other things.

    So how about it other LGBT peoples. Does your status or orientation define you in the same way? Has it changed over the years? Explain.

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    Exactly. Gay people who just get on with their lives should be the' gay icons' not George Michael or Elton John

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    Quote Originally Posted by jazyjason View Post
    Does it even matter if you're Gay?
    It matters a lot of you have engaged in gay sex relations. If you have then you need to repent of it and also receive Christ as your Lord and Savior for the remission of your sins. If you don't you'll very likely wind up in Hell.
    “For the scientist who has lived by his faith in the power of reason, the story ends like a bad dream. He has scaled the mountains of ignorance; he is about to conquer the highest peak; as he pulls himself over the final rock, he is greeted by a band of theologians who have been sitting there for centuries.” - Robert Jastrow

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    Quote Originally Posted by Easyrider View Post
    It matters a lot of you have engaged in gay sex relations. If you have then you need to repent of it and also receive Christ as your Lord and Savior for the remission of your sins. If you don't you'll very likely wind up in Hell.
    I think Christ is something totally different than what your misguided views on forgiveness are. Also you just mentioned I might end up in hell not I will for sure if I do not "repent" as you put it.

    And again. I'll flip the issue to you. Why must you wear your religion on your sleeve? If people don't want to be bothered with my personal life why would they think any different the way you push your views?

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    Quote Originally Posted by jazyjason View Post
    I think Christ is something totally different than what your misguided views on forgiveness are.
    Why, you have a scripture that says you can sin like the devil and don't need to repent? LOL! You're the misguided one.

    Quote Originally Posted by jazyjason View Post
    And again. I'll flip the issue to you. Why must you wear your religion on your sleeve?
    I'm out here trying to save people from going to Hell. Why do you wear your gayness on your sleeve?
    “For the scientist who has lived by his faith in the power of reason, the story ends like a bad dream. He has scaled the mountains of ignorance; he is about to conquer the highest peak; as he pulls himself over the final rock, he is greeted by a band of theologians who have been sitting there for centuries.” - Robert Jastrow

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    Quote Originally Posted by Easyrider View Post
    Why, you have a scripture that says you can sin like the devil and don't need to repent? LOL! You're the misguided one.
    It has always been my opinion that those who live by example and lead by action instead of words have more influence. People would have a lot more respect for you if you kept your religion personal.



    Quote Originally Posted by Easyrider View Post
    I'm out here trying to save people from going to Hell. Why do you wear your gayness on your sleeve?
    I don't.

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    Quote Originally Posted by jazyjason View Post
    It has always been my opinion that those who live by example and lead by action instead of words have more influence. People would have a lot more respect for you if you kept your religion personal.
    If every Christian did that very few would get saved.

    However, you can keep your gay pride agenda to yourself and the greater part of mankind would be very appreciative, and nobody would be lost.
    “For the scientist who has lived by his faith in the power of reason, the story ends like a bad dream. He has scaled the mountains of ignorance; he is about to conquer the highest peak; as he pulls himself over the final rock, he is greeted by a band of theologians who have been sitting there for centuries.” - Robert Jastrow

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    Quote Originally Posted by Easyrider View Post
    If every Christian did that very few would get saved.

    However, you can keep your gay pride agenda to yourself and the greater part of mankind would be very appreciative, and nobody would be lost.
    Ah I see. You throw out the typical "spread the gospel" excuse to get your views across. Yet when it comes to others you don't agree with stay in the shadows.

    Also I'd like to point out several flaws in your statement. One is "gay pride". First I didn't even attend Pride this year (was working) and also felt no compelling need to throw money to a now commercialized event.

    Secondly I have no "agenda" and placing ones sexuality in that context is foolish. And thirdly speaking on behalf of a majority of Americans whom actually DO support gays and going totally against evidence in recent polls and opinions just proves to us all here you are actually the minority in that regard.

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    Quote Originally Posted by jazyjason View Post
    People would have a lot more respect for you if you kept your religion personal.
    If you have a passion for something you shouldn't just keep it to yourself so more people will like you. I think Easy is a fool for thinking his actions show the true nature of Christianity but I don't think for a minute he should keep his greatest passions locked away. If you try to hide yourself, you are a coward.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Steeeeve View Post
    If you have a passion for something you shouldn't just keep it to yourself so more people will like you. I think Easy is a fool for thinking his actions show the true nature of Christianity but I don't think for a minute he should keep his greatest passions locked away. If you try to hide yourself, you are a coward.
    What if your passion is equality for gay people?
    "They asked if I had found Jesus and I didn't even know He was missing."

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    Quote Originally Posted by sinjin View Post
    What if your passion is equality for gay people?
    Same rules apply. Before someone asks "Well what about getting with children"....I'm not saying your passion is right or you should have that passion; I'm just saying you shouldn't keep it to yourself just so people will like you.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Steeeeve View Post
    Same rules apply. Before someone asks "Well what about getting with children"....I'm not saying your passion is right or you should have that passion; I'm just saying you shouldn't keep it to yourself just so people will like you.
    Mmm, so according to you people shouldn't keep their passions to themselves, that would be cowardly. I agree, I would go farther and say it leads to bad social situations when people find out they don't know you because you only showed them what they wanted to see. It is also frustrating and will cause stress to try to keep a secret that which you think is least deserving of obscurity.

    All good right, but then you say that one's passion may not be 'right' or should (referring to an ideal) be held. So you want people to be honest about their passions, which is to say they speak to others about them; but those passions may not be right, in fact they may conflict.

    So you think that the ideal would be a world where everyone's passions bash up against any incompatible passions indefinitely; judging from this forum and many like it that doesn't work out to well for peace and harmony. So it seems the question looms above your position, what makes a belief 'right', and how do people resolve conflicts between their passions? Why would some be afraid to communicate their passions? When if ever should one pay attention to the passions of another?
    Morals are a religious Myth.. - Xcaliber
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    Quote Originally Posted by Steeeeve View Post
    Same rules apply. Before someone asks "Well what about getting with children"....I'm not saying your passion is right or you should have that passion; I'm just saying you shouldn't keep it to yourself just so people will like you.
    Jail easy to bare for nude rambler | The Sun |News

    There may be some exceptions.

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    Quote Originally Posted by jazyjason View Post
    Does it really matter if you identify yourself as Gay?

    Now looking back on the last 3 years of my life it all seems so surreal. Being "gay" isn't really what defines me anymore so as much as I'm in a committed relationship with someone of the same sex. That to me has more meaning than just say a particular label or definition.

    So how about it other LGBT peoples. Does your status or orientation define you in the same way? Has it changed over the years? Explain.
    Not a "LGBT" person, but it seems to me it defines you to whatever extent you wear it on your sleeve. You all want it to define you when it's convenient and beneficial, but you seem to NOT want it to when you realize the implications of being defined by your orientation. 'Ya don't get to have it both ways. You're defined that way because that's what you wanted with the whole out-and-proud thing.
    “We must reject the idea that every time a law’s broken, society is guilty rather than the lawbreaker. It is time to restore the American precept that each individual is accountable for his actions.” - Reagan

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    jazyjason, I'd like to rephrase your question. The simple act of identifying yourself as gay immediately brings your sexual preference to the forefront. The label defines you based on your sexuality. Its no different than a doctor identifying himself by his profession, or a mother identifying herself by her familial role. And no, it doesn't matter.

    The real question should be: "does religious acceptance matter?"

    The bible, and several other archaic religious texts, condemn homosexuality. This is a fact. And followers of such texts are programmed to view homosexuals in a condescending manner. They simply cannot completely accept such a text as true, and at the same time accept homosexuality as ok.

    So, the question that you, and gays as a whole, should really ask is: why do you care what followers of archaic religious texts think? Is the approval of brainwashed yes-men in a mythical pyramid scheme really something you need? Or even want? Does the opinion of close-minded fundamentalists really affect your overall well-being to the point where you must plead for their tolerance? Do you aspire to go to heaven, or be "good" in the eyes of their god, or require their religoius blessing on your affairs? I daresay the answer is probably no
    when man tried to understand nature, theism was born
    when man tried to understand God, atheism was born

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